Have You Seen Me Lately?

So Dammit boy, poor dammit boy. He's been AWOL for months now with the occasional sighting: shows up one night with some young thing in a vain attempt to pass hisself off as "not so gay", or the occasional call for me to synthesize "poppers" or "goofballs".

What fucking year is this anyway?

Then there was the "unfortunate "misunderstanding"" on To Catch a Predator. But somehow the bastard-covered bastard with bastard center got lucky and wound up transporting the tape to the network, and so it "got lost in transit" (Don't worry, when I find it, I'm playing it on public access.)

Then the poor bastard has to take his homoshow over the road. All those long, hot, hard, electric nights away from home - only the sound of strange men on your C.B. to keep you company. ...Glory holes everywhere.

Anyway. So I get a text message from dammitboy from (SF, wherever that is): Penis (OK, he's got me right there. Apparently there are fewer funnier words than penis).

But I digress. Message:



"Penis... as far as the eye can see. Nutin but penis."

Obviously he's trying to get out of a funk. I've been there many times before: the funk, not penis everywhere. Funk.

So anyway, I do exactly what any good friend would do: send a bunch of comments cementing his gayness.

What do you think of these? Or add your own.

1. Then pocket the money you already got, get off of your knees and come home.
2. Or just close your eyes and smile like a doughnut.
3. If you were just truthful about it, and added "in my mouth", it'd be haiku.

Penis. As far as
the eye can see. Nutin but
penis (in my mouth).


Notice he used "Nutin".

...




He didn't even say "No homo".

Discuss.